In 2005 I created this self-portrait as an exploration into my higher Self as a Soul. Upon doing so, I realized how easy it was to place the crown of thorns upon my head, and noticed how I experienced great difficulty to draw the halo.
This exercise brought to my attention that my subconscious mind had created limitations and harsh judgments when it came to realizing my true identity as a radiant soul.
I knew there was much work to be done to correct my dysfunctional way of thinking and replace it with the truth of my existence as an immortal soul.
To this very day, I continue to consciously practice scientific yogic techniques which prove there is no separation between myself and my Beloved Creator.
However, the subconscious mind tends to play tricks on us leading us to self-destruction, pain and suffering. It’s our responsibility to take immediate action to replace these negative thoughts with positive truth.
I never thought I would share this drawing to the public, but I feel the message I’m sharing will benefit those who suffer from self-created misery and destruction.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
Invictus, meaning unconquerable or undefeated in Latin, was written in 1875 by William Ernest Henley.
As we maneuver through these extremely challenging times, let us keep in our hearts the power of this poem to confront adversity, renew our minds, and reclaim our immortal divine nature as Spirit. In doing so, we come out the other side of it with the creation of positive change—leading to everlasting happiness and ultimate fulfillment.
“Persons of strong character are usually the happiest. They do not blame others for troubles that can usually be traced to their own actions and lack of understanding. They know that no one has any power to add to their happiness or detract from it unless they themselves are so weak that they allow the adverse thoughts and wicked actions of others to affect them.”
― Paramahansa Yogananda
How to STOP Crucifying Yourself
1.) Pay attention to GUILT and SHAME. These energies are negative in vibration and will hold you hostage in slavery to unworthiness, causing painful infliction to your soul. When you encounter internal negative programming from your mind telling you “I’m not good enough” or “who do you you think you are?!” know that these voices are destructive and creating havoc in your life. Shame is a focus on the self, ie: I am bad. Guilt is a focus on behavior, ie: I did something bad. These learned behaviors can be eradicated by replacing them with positive affirmations. Pay conscious attention to your thoughts. Your current living situation, moods and emotions will clearly show you what your thoughts are creating. If you are unhappy, angry or frustrated….this is a sure sign that it’s time to replace any negative thoughts.
2.) Procrastination and Stagnation may be a sign of SELF-SABOTAGE. If you feel it is challenging to move forward in life with your dreams and goals, the ghost of obstruction and destruction may be the culprit. Make it a point to spend time every single day to write down your goals and take immediate ACTION. Even if it’s tiny baby steps to accomplish something towards your dreams, the universe will support each and every effort you make. You’ll soon discover a spiritual energy pulsating within you to help you move forward. Don’t just “sit on the fence”… as it will eventually paralyze you…get off the fence and do something…anything! Even if it feels like a mistake—at least you’ll know what you don’t want…therefore showing you what you do want!
3.) You don’t have to Sacrifice Yourself. Many believe in order to feel “good, righteous or special,” they have to please everyone around them. The most important thing you can do is be 100% authentic to taking care of yourself. This includes quieting your mind where you listen to the voice of your soul. If your inner voice and gut tells you a “NO” to something, honor it and listen. You are not responsible for the emotional response of others…you are only responsible to respect and act according to guidance of your higher self. The erroneous belief that you are selfish is false, for self-care and authenticity is divine.
4.) Don’t BLAME anyone or anything for your disturbances. Take full responsibility for everything happening to you, for you alone have created everything in your life. Thoughts create according to their nature. All occurances in your earthly vibration arrive to strengthen and develop your character, which is your soul’s evolution. If you have difficulty in forgiving someone, read my blog; Forgiveness—An Attribute of the Strong
“If you do not choose to be happy no one can make you happy. Do not blame God for that! And if you choose to be happy, no one can make you unhappy. If He had not given us freedom to use our own will, we could blame Him when we are unhappy, but He did give us that freedom. It is we who make of life what it is.”
Ask yourself these introspective questions:
(For best results, write down your answers in a journal)
In what ways do I tend to crucify myself?
What is the narrative and beliefs around my “old story?”
What is my “new story?”
If you find yourself experiencing any fear or hesitancy around these exercises, learn what it takes to be fearless and how to destroy these harmful thoughts. You have the strength within your soul to reclaim your divine heritage.
Have the courage to conquer fear and overcome difficulties, for you are a spiritual warrior. Be courageous in meeting any challenges instead of running away from them.
Don’t allow destructive mental patterns to stop you from knowing truth and living your dreams. Know that you are a dynamic immortal soul, and have confidence in this truth!
My Soul is perfect.
I am the Soul.
My Soul has always been perfect.
It is perfect now, and it will be perfect unto eternity.